Other Dogs

I am aware that I am a dog. I know I'm not a human. But I would say I have many human qualities, like observation.

Every morning when I take Eddie for a walk, I notice several dogs (and CATS!) along the way. I have named them all according to one thing or another.

When we first exit the house, we turn and walk a little. The first dog comes at the end of the block, and he is across the...what is it called...I think it's "street". Anyway, I know him as Hi, because when we pass, he barks once and that's it. He's just saying hi.

Then, when we get to the edge of the next block, that's when things get interesting. Across the "street" again is "Mad" a very small dog with a serious attitude, and he always brings his lady out with him, and he just piddles in front of their living place. Sometimes we see him, sometimes we don't. I try to pull Eddie over to see them, but I don't know that he's very smart or brave, because he just stays on a straight path and he's too heavy for me to pull where I want him to go.

Right after that is Crazy. I used to not understand "fences" until I met Crazy. It is a small white dog, and it broke out of its fence, and attacked me and Kristen (my other human) and then did it again to me and Eddie. I think that maybe she is just getting used to a new living place.

Then comes TWO CATS!! JUST TYPING ABOUT THEM MAKES ME EXCITED!! I WANT TO CHASE THEM!! I THINK CATS DESERVED TO BE CHASED, BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T CHASE THEM, WHAT WOULD THEY DO ALL DAY? SIT AROUND?

As we approach the edge of the next block, sometimes I see a dog that I think looks a lot like me, so I named him Twin. I see him walk past our house about 10 times a day. He must need to get his human a lot of exercise.

Then, as we turn again, there's Pretty. Pretty is a white dog, and I like her. I cry when I pass her because I want her to know I think she's pretty.

Then comes Doofus. Doofus is a big dog with a fence right next to the area we walk. Doofus always wants to show how tough he is, so he barks and runs along the fence and irritates me. It stresses me out, and I just lose my mind for a few seconds.

Right after Doofus on the next corner is Wow. A small very puffy dog. When it barks (as it does a lot) it sounds like "wow." Wow wow wow...wow wow wow...wow wow wow.

Then there's a dog named Dark who doesn't seem to need walking a human. He just walks around outside and poops and pees where he wants, and nobody picks it up. Eddie picks up my poop. I don't know why...is he saving it?

Then we come home. I hear some other dogs near us, so I just bark in the backyard when I hear them. It's nice to have neighbors.

Humiliation

Yesterday was not a good day. 

Normally, every day works like this. I get up and take Eddie for a walk, and then I come back and eat a little breakfast, climb up on the couch or under the bed and take a nap for about 4 hours.

Then, I wake up when Eddie comes home for lunch around noon, hang out with him for about an hour, then I go back to sleep for another 4-5 hours.

Eddie gets home at around 5, then Kristen, then I take one of them outside to watch me poop. This always results in me getting something called a "greenie", which I enjoy, even though I have no idea what's in it. Then they sit on the couches for a while to watch people talk, and eat their dinner, and sometimes I get some of their leftover food. Then I start grabbing toys and asking them to play.

Well, yesterday, Kristen's all "You get to come with me today!" So I get in the car and we go to this place with these really nice ladies who are all happy to see me. Normally when we go anywhere, I'm kind of just there to visit. Not yesterday. I go in, and I thought I was going somewhere else with Kristen. Well, I hear some other dogs in the back, and they're barking and whatever, and I'm realizing what's going on. I try to make a break for it when I realize that one of the other ladies has my leash and Kristen is heading out the door. I've been duped.

They proceed to bathe me and shave all my hair. I worked really hard to make my hair the way it is. I've rolled in a lot of grass lately, and I like the way I smell. Now I smell like a human. And I look ridiculous. 

You can see my displeasure. And they put a scarf on me. A scarf. On a dog. Dogs don't wear scarves. We wear our hair. That's it. Eddie came to pick me up, and I made sure to get out of there as quickly as I could. I peed in excitement on the first thing I could when I stepped outside.

I mean, it's not all bad. I'm a lot cooler when I sleep and I'm not panting as much. But it was a long day, and I was tired when it was over. 

On a different note, I pooped twice in a span of five minutes tonight. 

I Am the Dog

My name is Cody. I am a six year old schnauzer. I won't be fooled into thinking in terms of dog years, because that's sad.

I have two pretty good humans. They call each other sparky, sparkyhole, sparkaroni. It makes sense I guess, because they call me all sorts of things too that aren't my name.

I have a lot of questions about them though. They do things that don't make sense to me. I want to talk about one quickly. I can't type very fast yet, so I'll make it brief.

They fix variations of hot meat for their meals. I like hot meat. They eat most of it. There is some left usually.

I don't understand why I can't always have what's left. Sometimes I get it. Others I don't. I don't understand. There is no pattern. I live by routines and patterns.

Time to crawl under the bed. Gotta get up early for my walk.

It Begins

So, I was having a conversation with my dog the other day. We were reading my wife's insightful blog, and he said something along the lines of "Awraaaawwrhaaaa" with that last part being real high pitched.

It's the only time I've ever been able to understand him quite literally, as he said, "Why don't you and I start a blog together?" I don't know quite where this gift to understand him came from, but I'll just rejoice in that moment, knowing that for one instant, I knew exactly what my dog wanted. It hasn't happened since.

I did tell him as best I could if he wanted to blog, he was going to have to learn some basic typing skills, but he's already ahead of the game there. His favorite thing to type is QWERTY. I also caught him trying to e-mail somebody named <trixie@dogdownthestreet.com>, looking for some treats. I don't think he really gets e-mail yet, but he's got some typing down, and since we've got a laptop already, my guess is he might find some time to jot down some thoughts, as will I from time to time.

Me and my dog Cody have a really good relationship I'd say...certainly from his end. He pretty much gets to do what he wants all the time. There's no kennel, no room or furniture off limits. He gets human food on special occasions, and gets a walk every morning, and has a nice big back yard full of squirrels to chase. He has numerous toys (stuffed bears, raccoons, squirrels, and several balls.) He even gets to sleep in the bed with us, which I know is his favorite thing. That and chicken.

He does have several names that we call him...one being Cody. But he is also known as Buddy, Dogman, Schnauzer, Little Man, the Dog, the Family Dog, Buddyhole, amongst others that come and go. I'm sure he'll bring this up sometime, as I imagine it confuses him. I'll be anxious to see what other behaviors in us he can point out. Now I have to let him know that I've done my part, and I'll be anxious to see how quickly he responds.